Refrain
by xxivxo
Summary: Yosuke has always been hesitant about getting a girlfriend since whenever he brings up the subject, Souji completely changes, and not for the better. [SoujixYosuke]


_It wasn't even fair._

The past two years of their friendship was suddenly completely breaking apart because of the matter of one person.

_What kind of sense did that even make?_

Yosuke was in one of his thinking moods. Walking back and forth in his room, he ended up giving up walking around only to fall back onto his bed to stare at the wall, the same thoughts swirling in his head even as he did so.

The topic had been brought up to Souji the night before, the topic that had started to alter Yosuke's mindset on everything he thought had been there in terms of a friendship. For some reason, whenever Yosuke had mentioned he was going to possibly be getting a girlfriend, Souji went into his super serious mode, going silent, and being blunter than usual if that was even possible with how open he already was about anything and everything.

It bothered Yosuke how much Souji has protested the idea in his own way. He never outright said '_no_', but he stated that he would have to adjust to the change with them not spending as much time together then. That statement seemed even more severe since he mentioned how a girl would be occupying the apartment all the time then too.

Yosuke knew that wasn't true, since he still liked his space. But it wasn't the way Souji had been semi-against the idea, it was more so how it was almost hypocritical of him to say anything against it. Souji had been born, raised, and bred through the city life, so he had almost always had a girlfriend or some girl that he would bring home to either entertain for the evening or just be straight in the bedroom doing whatever it was Souji did in there.

It wasn't like Yosuke knew what they did, and it wasn't like he had ever gone out into the hallway to creep about and possibly listen. Okay, so maybe he had once…maybe more than once, but it was all out of curiosity. It never sounded like the other did much besides talk and make out; only a few times did he hear it getting to be more serious. By then he had taken strides back to his own room to distract himself from the more than wrong thoughts and images in his mind.

But aside from that, although that did open up a key point in the topic, Yosuke hadn't realized it for a while, but all the emotions and feelings of closeness for Souji had run far deeper than best friends should. It took Chie pointing that out to him towards the end of the investigation for him to see that he might've liked Souji more than he should have.

So maybe he ended up falling for Souji harder than he ever thought. It took a while for him to force the feelings down, _way down_, in order for him to act normal around him. It really took getting used to whenever they moved in together. It was taking all that he had to get used to Souji seeing girls.

Which brought him back to his main point, _how was any of this fair_?

For Souji to be able to go out with girls, but it was a crime him to do the same? Sure, he still made time for him so there really wasn't that much of a significant change in how much they were able to see each other. Souji must've thought that Yosuke would be the type to want to see a possible girlfriend nearly 24/7, which he was in a way. But Souji still meant too much to him, so much that if he ever had to choose then he'd pick Souji hands down.

But it shouldn't have been like that either. They weren't together, they were just best friends.

The back and forth started all over again. Yosuke was growing frustrated, tired of the same idle banter of his thoughts telling him he was wrong and then he was right. It was a matter that just had no simple answer. So he had decided to push the idea away.

It stayed that way for a few months. The subject had never been brought up again; both of them continued about their same routines, and Yosuke hadn't really thought on getting a girlfriend except for the rare occasions that he knew Souji had a girl over.

Souji seemed to be himself again since the topic had died away.

Well, that was until Yosuke brought it up again one evening three months later.

"So…there's this girl in my chem class…"

Yosuke was sitting in the passenger seat, almost fiddling with the edge of his jacket as he couldn't even bring himself to look at Souji aside from glances and looks from the corner of his eye.

"What about her?"

Souji appeared to still be in a relaxed manner as he kept his focus on the road.

"Well, she talks to me a lot, texts me a lot too; I think she wants me to ask her out."

The car slowed as they were stopped at a red light. Even with the brief moment, Souji still kept his eyes straight ahead.

"So what are you looking for me to tell you?"

"Uh..." Yosuke's voice trailed off as he tried to think of something to say. "…I know I brought this up before and you weren't really happy with the idea."

"We already discussed this, yes."

Yosuke could see the way the other's hands had formed a firmer grip on the steering wheel just as the light turned green and the car lurched forward faster than usual.

"I guess I just wanted to let you know I'm probably going to ask her out."

_There, he'd said it._

Yosuke felt a little relieved that he got the words out. It was when he looked to see how fast Souji was going and the tensed up form in the driver's seat that he felt any relief disappear.

"Why do you feel the need to inform me of this?"

"Because you're my best friend."

"I already told you how I feel about it."

"Hey-woah okay you should slow down-"

"You can do whatever you want, it's your life. Just don't expect me to be around much."

The words stung and Yosuke completely forgot about how fast they were going in that moment. Seeing how Souji's eyes were half-lidded with concentration, well no, almost like a distraction from the topic at hand, Yosuke felt his heart stop and his stomach fall from realizing that what he was saying had a very harsh meaning.

"You're saying…you'll leave?"

Souji said nothing as he pulled into the parking garage where their apartments were located. Reaching the second floor where their designated spot was, he parked the car, only to get out seconds later and slam the door shut. He'd barely waited for Yosuke to hastily scramble out of the car and shut the door as well before he hit the button for the car to lock and kept walking, never once looking back or seeing if the brunette was still even walking or trying to catch up.

Yosuke almost had to run with how fast the other was power walking away from him. He could see how the long, black trench coat he wore swayed with his hasty steps, the night air being as cold as it was going unnoticed with how hot he felt from the tension and worry forming.

He knew that as he had to slide into the elevator before it closed that there was going to be a confrontation. As soon as they exited and got to the apartment, Souji threw open the door, barely even caring to make sure Yosuke got in as he went to slam the door shut. Luckily Yosuke had quick reflexes, so his arm jutted out, taking a bit of that blow from the door being thrown back in his face and moving into the apartment before closing the door.

"Souji, please just talk to me."

"There's nothing left to talk about."

"Yes there is! You're saying you're not going to be around much if I do this, I mean, what do you mean by that-"

Souji had slipped out of his jacket and hung it up in the hallway closet before he slammed that door shut as well.

"It means whatever you think it means."

"So you _are_ going to leave?"

The silence was enough of an answer for Yosuke.

He trailed after Souji who had taken to retreating to his room. Yosuke was quick enough to get in before Souji attempted to lock himself away.

"How is that even fair? We've been friends since we were sixteen-**_best friends_**. And now just because I want to get a girlfriend so I can actually start doing more with my life and stop feeling so lonely, you won't even let me have that. You do it all the time! How the fuck is that even fair?!"

Souji was undoing the buttons on his shirt, staring over at the wall.

"It's not."

"Then why are you saying all these things?"

"Because I'm selfish."

"I don't…"

Yosuke couldn't even finish his sentence. The lack of understanding was clearly showing on his face alone.

Souji hated change. He hated having been in the same routine of things. The idea of anything being altered in how his life fluctuated, even more so in terms of his best friend, made him completely shift into defensive mode. Cutting anything off was his way of coping. As cruel as it was, it was just how he had formed as an adult.

"We've always been best friends. You've always just been there, never with a girl involved. It's been that way for two years. I went on dates with girls since around the time we started being friends, so that isn't something new. But this..." Souji paused as he finished the last button on his shirt before finally moving his eyes to meet a gaze of confusion from brown eyes. "…This is completely different."

"How? I mean, why can't you just think of it was another friend who is a girl just entering the group?"

"Because if that was the case we could all hang out together, and it wouldn't be different."

"We can still do that-"

"**No we can't**."

Souji kicked off his shoes just as he saw Yosuke almost looking desperate.

"I don't fucking understand why not?!"

"It won't be the same. Think about it."

"I am, and all I see if you bringing a girl and me bringing my girlfriend. We'd still be hanging out, and it'd be fine!"

Souji sighed with a frustration mixed with a forming anger.

He'd never liked the concept of Yosuke ever getting close to anyone else, no matter who it was. He'd even had to hold himself back from how Chie would step into their alone time together sometimes or would steal Yosuke away to get steak. Apparently they had some important conversations, but still, Souji was weird about Yosuke spending time with anyone else. He'd always have that possessive vibe, and it seemed like it was never going to go away. He didn't want to admit to the reason why though, because Yosuke had always been the type to avoid anything of the sort.

"No it _wouldn't_." His voice grew firmer as he stepped closer. "Seriously, **_think about it_**. If it was just a group of us as friends, if I ever wanted to just spend time with you and no one else involved, it wouldn't be as easy as us splitting from the group like we used to. Girlfriends come with complications; some are clingy as hell too."

Yosuke could see how dilated grey eyes were, the anger slipping into every word that was being said directly to him. It only proved to make him feel just as heated, just as angry, his hands fisting at his sides as he practically yelled in the other's face.

"Goddammit Souji, _partner_, whatever the **_hell _**you are to me now- because it sure doesn't feel like a fucking best friend- what am I supposed to do then? I can't have a girlfriend or you'll get mad and leave because you think I'm just going to rearrange you out of my life somehow-"

"No you will. There isn't any thinking about it."

"I would never do that to you!"

"You'd be surprised what you would do once something like that happens."

"I'd never do that to you! We're too close, you mean too much to me!"

"If Saki was still alive, you would have done it for her."

Yosuke fixed his jaw closed quickly, his teeth grinding together as the anger rose far quicker than in the steady manner that it had been before.

"How fucking **_dare_** you bring Saki into this."

"I'm proving my point though, aren't I?"

The anger turning into rage, the emotion took ahold of his body. Yosuke lurched his hands forward, grabbing at the fabric of the shirt that was undone and hanging on Souji's shoulders. He tugged the other so close, staring at him with brown eyes just as dilated with fury now.

"It's an insignificant point since she's dead."

"The possibility is still there regardless. There leaves the chance for another girl to come along and make you feel the same way she did, even though the feelings were one-sided."

Yosuke wanted to punch him, and he was close to doing so. Instead he pushed him away, Souji managing to catch himself as his body hit the side of the bed.

The tension had grown to an all-time high. Souji could sense the aura of anger from the other, it was clearly melding with his own. The heat filled the room despite how cold the apartment had been when they first entered, and now he was sure that he had pushed Yosuke beyond any hindrance to his rage.

At least now he felt what he had felt inwardly at the simple mentioning of the idea to begin with.

"You know what, fuck you. If you're going to stoop this low over something as simple as me getting a girlfriend, then I don't want you as a best friend anymore."

Damn near close to tears now, Yosuke had the words breath out of him in a ragged statement before he turned to leave. The disbelief that Souji of all people, the one person that he had ever opened himself up completely to would use something like that against him made him feel like he had never known the other to begin with. His hand was reaching for the bedroom door to push it open, his hand barely pushing the door open halfway as he felt a firm grip on his other arm.

The grip pulled him away from the door, forcing him against the wall with the small amount of space that was in the small area that led to the door. He briefly caught a glimpse of grey eyes in that split second movement, lips pressing and devouring onto his own just as he felt a warm body pressing up against him.

Souji had foregone any barrier that he thought Yosuke might've had against the notion of anything but a woman touching and handling him in this way. The way he was responding made him grow bolder with his actions, finally at least being able to communicate with more than just his protests and reflections of frustration through his demeanor and the look that had been in his eyes.

Hands reached out to pin his arms against the wall, the brunette's body reacting without hesitation as he felt like all of his thoughts and moments of fantasizing about how his best friend would kiss, how it might feel to have his lips on his own, to taste his tongue, it was all happening and it made the biggest shock on his body.

The waves of anger died away to simple frustration now, feeling how Souji forced apart his lips, which only made him fight back, moving his tongue out to lick and taste, wanting to know every crevice of that mouth that he had been wanting to feel moving with his own for years now.

Souji pushed himself forward, forcing Yosuke more into the wall as he let their hips align together, the sudden moan in how their tongues were running over one another make him grip harder at the wrists that he had ahold of.

He'd never let him go. He'd always make sure he had that grasp on him.

The Fool incarnate always had the samples of blessing and curses. The in-between lied with how he would have an infatuation turned to an addiction, and he just could never bring himself to let it go from his life.

"I think I get it now."

Yosuke was barely able to breathe out his jumble of thoughts and emotions as he felt lips pry from his own only to press down by his neck.

"Do you really?"

The question was low, so low that it made Yosuke feel shivers over his entire body.

The teeth that bit at his neck made him inhale uneasily as he couldn't help but to push his hips forward.

"Yes."

"I'm territorial."

"I-I ah…n-noticed."

The question of why didn't Yosuke just push the other this far the first time kept repeating in his mind. It didn't matter though, since he at least still had Souji. Having him this way seemed a lot better than getting a girlfriend.

"So what…what does this make us?"

Souji licked over where he had bitten, a rather large bruise occupying a patch of fair-skin. That would surely capture the attention of whatever girl had been eyeing the other in chem class. As he moved to further subject Yosuke in his territorial web, he whispered with a chuckle directly alongside his ear.

"Depends..."

"O-On what…what…" Yosuke was a fucking mess. Whenever Souji had ever spoken in that low tone it had always made him feel all sorts of ways, usually ones that had him touching himself to inappropriate thoughts later on.

"On if you're still looking to get a girlfriend."

"I mean…"

"And if I can reserve you for myself."

Yosuke swallowed thickly as he saw the other pull back to stare at him properly.

"If you're thinking into that, then yes it means what you think it means."

Souji always had a way of already knowing where his thoughts were heading to.

"Then if that's the case..." Yosuke had to find the right words, still feeling nervous even though they had already made out and he probably had the hugest hickey on his neck right now. "…You can reserve me."

"Good. I don't ever want a refund on that offer either."

"Well, you have to make good use of your reservation."

The words that had been exchanged allowed the normal, genuine smile to finally tug over Souji's lips as he leaned in to mutter a response before kissing him again.

"I'm sure I can more than manage that, 24/7 if I have to."

_ ~ fin._


End file.
